romance murderer?

i was reading an article about what things may or may not kill romance in a marriage, and found it so intriguing. the author was posing the question to her readers about 'how comfortable is TOO comfortable' when you're around your spouse.

she was arguing that if you allow your husband to see all the ins and outs of your humanness, that it could kill the mystery, romance and i guess ultimately make him less intrigued by your womanhood in the long run.

allow me to be raw for a moment.

so in other words, she was saying that women should never shave armpits or legs in front of their hubbies, should never burp or have any other gaseous displays in front of their husbands, and should never go to the bathroom with the door open at home when he's around.

she said these are things her husband has no qualms about doing in front of her (probably minus the leg/pit shaving) but that she refuses to be that comfortable with him.

that got me to thinking...is that being uptight? or does she have a point?

on the one hand, i can see where she's coming from. even if we've been married for 20 years, i want my husband to see me as exciting, intriguing, sexy and feminine, and wonder how in the world i keep it all together so fabulously after all these years. i'm thinking having him walk in on me shaving my armpits or bikini line, or passing gas in front of him may take away one of those elements or two.

or the other hand, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend. the one who knows you the most intimately. the one who sees you at your best and at your worst and loves you anyway. and let's face it - the human body, while a beautiful creation of God, is also kinda gross. we have hairyness that we like to get rid of, our bodies make all kinds of sounds and aromas. that's the way it is. do i really want to tiptoe around all those things and be afraid that my husband won't find me attractive anymore if he sees me being that human?

he's the one person i want to be able to be totally myself around. i may put on a front for the rest of the world, but i want my husband to really SEE me, even the gross parts of me. not because i desire to make a spectacle of myself but because i desire to never have to feel on edge or self-conscious about anything with my hubby.

i am who i am, and who i am ain't always glamorous. and ideally i'd love for my husband to still feel just as in love, just as romantic, just as into me as he was when we first met, but all the while seeing and knowing that i'm not this Fem-bot who is perfectly feminine and pretty-fied all the time.

if i can't let it all hang out around my partner for life, well then with whom?