it never fails.
whenever i make it a point to stop busy-bodying around and actually put myself to bed at a decent time, my daughter wakes up during the night.
on the nights when i'm up super late cleaning, straightening or doing some other restless (or useless) activity like incessant internet surfing because i'm just not ready for bed, my Angel Face sleeps like the baby she is. so basically, when i lose sleep because of my own fault, Angel Face sleeps soundly all through the night. when i determine to get a good night's rest and go to bed early, Angel Face wakes up...
she must have a sensor in her bed that's connected to some sort of time piece. because let's face it - she can't tell time. so she must have rigged up some hi-tech device that alerts her to when i've gone to bed before midnight so that she can plan to wake up at 2am.
babies are a lot craftier than they let on.
and my little gosling would not go back to sleep. i nursed her (which usually knocks her right out during her middle of the night wakings), but not last night. she was UP - jolly as can be, "talking" to me, clapping, smiling, looking all around the room. i couldn't help but laugh as i asked her, "Little Child, do you know what time it is?" as she responded with a giggle and a toothy grin as if to say, "Nope! But, so what? Let's play!"
it took a few attempts at trying to get her back in her bed. she wailed when I put her back down to sleep, so I had to lay with her, stomach to stomach, with her cradled in the nook of my left arm, until rest found her again. I drifted off to sleep with her nuzzled up beside me and awoke at 4:45 am to gingerly place her back in her bed and try to salvage some sleep.
that is, until my alarm clock so rudely interrupted me a short time later.
although i was so sleepy this morning, as i am most mornings after many many nights like last night, i woke up ready to face my day - not complaining or irritable because of the sleep interruption and deprivation. my heart was ready for prayer; as i washed up and got ready for work, i sang an old hymn that i haven't heard nor sang since high school but clearly the Holy Spirit placed it in my heart this morning.
and i was so excited to see the sleepy face of my beautiful little girl squinting and smiling up at me from her little bed.
every morning when I see her face, it's like seeing her for the first time all over again. the excitement never ever dies.
i hope it never does.
as i hustled around my apartment (because of course i was running late, as always) and went through the morning routine of packing the baby's breakfast, lunch, snacks (and dinner tonight because her dad will be picking her up so i can go to the gym), nursing my daughter during our usual "Morning Leche" session, while i simultaneously change her diaper and slip her clothes over her head, and then pump some extra milk, grab the breastpump bag, the diaper bag (which i had thankfully packed the night before to free some time this morning), strap Angel Face in her car seat, grab my purse and lug all of us out the door to the car, realize that it's chilly and she needs a sweater, so drop the bags off in the car and lug the baby back into the house to grab her sweater, then back outside and off to Granny's house to drop her off, then to the metro to catch my train and head to work.....whew! i realized how exhausting all the daily tasks are.
completely exhausting.
but i really do it all with joy. and i'd do it again, and again, and again for my precious little Angel. she deserves it and much more. i praise God for giving me the strength and energy to do this every day. and to do it with pleasure. it has to be God.
it has to be.
and right now i'm listening to this wonderful song and video that is played on Nick Jr. that my daughter LOVES. every time it comes on, i stop whatever i'm doing, turn up the volume loudly and dance with her. :-)
in spite of the hard times i'm facing, these really are great days, great memories being created, great love being shared.
enjoy the song!
