insights and out-sights

today's my 28th birthday.

hurrah.

******

so the other day, i saw a pregnant woman riding a moped. that cracked me up. though i think that is very unsafe - she had on a helmet but her whole body, including the baby, is unprotected and vulnerable on that thing, especially in DC traffic - i had to chuckle. aside from the images popping up in my mind of something scary happening to her and her baby, she looked pretty cute riding that thing with her baby belly.

makes me want to make a Pregnant Biker Chick Calendar.

just kidding.


******

so that same day, as i was leaving the metro station, i saw a Muslim cabbie knelt down on the ground beside a parking meter, praying.

that struck me so deeply. i felt so much admiration for him and so much admonition for myself.

now, as a Christian, of course i can't really get down with Muslim teachings as a whole. but i can't help but feel humbled and in awe of their dedication and discipline to their faith. the fact that no matter where they are during the day, they stop and obediently pray 5 times a day, is awesome.

how many of us Christians do that? many of us (COMPLETELY including myself) struggle to pray even once a day. granted, God does not require us to pray in a five times a day formula. He just desires that we honestly, willingly, fervently seek Him and relationship with His Son Jesus Christ, whether we talk to Him once a day or 12 times a day.

but still, though i don't accept the Muslim faith as truth, I praise them (those that actively practice their faith) for their dedication. seeing the cabbie, who was clearly in the middle of his work day, publicly kneeling down beside a parking meter and praying to his god on the hot pavement, on a sticky, sweltering day in August, really struck me.

it inspired me to do more for the God that i serve, the One and only living God. :-)

*****

life, especially of late, has taught me something important about people:

they have roles. in our lives, that is.

from my own experiences throughout my life and ESPECIALLY lately, and from observing situations others in my life have recently gone through, i'm understanding this concept more and more.

it's freeing once you grasp that. learning that truth has helped me to let go of a lot of expectations, heart ache, frustration and disappointment that i formerly had as a result of my expecting things from people who were never really meant to give them in the first place.

not everyone is going to be your best friend. not everyone is going to be the one you can go to to spill all your guts to about the deep things in your life - and you should be cautious of doing so. not everyone is going to give the love, warmth and presence we desire.

we need to learn who plays what roles in our lives. i have had so many days spent being angry, frustrated, hurt and annoyed that certain friends weren't there at certain times, didn't reach out to me like i wanted them to, didn't love on me the way i thought i needed them to. until i came to the understanding that maybe they weren't meant to do that in the first place.

it doesn't mean that that person(s) is a bad friend, is a bad person, or isn't treating me the way i deserve - absolutely not. and it's unfair of me to place those expectations on others and then get mad at them for not fulfilling them. it simply means that they are who they are in my life. and not everyone is going to play this life-changing role. not everyone is going to have this deep connection with me. not everyone is going to be my friend until death. it's like being mad at a coworker for not being there or doing something special for me - a coworker in most cases is a coworker. they have a role. you can't have the same expectations of them that you'd have of someone else.

when i learned that, i stopped being mad at them for what they did or didn't do or who they weren't to/for me, and instead rejoiced for the one or two who ARE those deep connections, the ones who do reach for me and i for them, the ones whose love i know without question.

and that brings me peace. :-)

*****

i've also learned that the people you sometimes want the most are the ones who are never around; and the ones you could really do without seeing ever again are the ones who just won't seem to leave. LOL

why is life this way?


*****

why am i really super excited about a vegan calzone i think i'll be having on a birthday dinner outing tonight?

that's sad, right...? :-D