i can see Him

i took these photos above while driving (don't try that at home kids). i just couldn't let those visions of perfection, loveliness, and power pass me by.

here are some other dusk photos from that same day but from different locations:




i'm obsessed with dusk. when i look up and see that scene spread out before me, i feel like i'm staring directly into Heaven. it looks so far away, yet so near. and i always envision a city above and beyond those clouds. i envision angels bowing before God, singing His praises. i envision a city abuzz with beauty and life, with sweet smells of Heavenly spirits and sounds of joy and eternity, waiting for me.

when i look up and see that scene spread out before me, i don't see earthly clouds, meteorological terminology, or colors that are formed by pollutants in the air. i see God. i see Him with paintbrush and palette in hand, painting colors across the sky. i see Him weaving clouds on an angel's loom. i see Him holding a glowing globe of light in the palm of His hand, and slowly tucking it away to give us rest for the night.

i see His love, His wisdom, His might, His power, His mind, His heart.

in the 3rd photo, i was standing in a Wal-mart parking lot, looking insane i'm sure, marveling at the sky, taking pictures. it was just that beautiful at that moment. i blocked out the sounds of shopping cart wheels scraping the pavement, i blocked out some guy's booming sound system, i blocked out sounds of kids running to their parents' cars. in that moment, it was just me and my Lord. it seemed surreal.

as i was driving away, i could see the fading sunlight and strewn out clouds from a different angle, and i could see the infinite depth of the sky. it gave me chills. it made me know that there's more - there's so much more.

and i prayed that in that moment, driving out of that parking lot, that God would lift me up to be with Him there in those clouds. if something could look that beautiful and that perfect from my vantage point down on this dark and imperfect earth, i cannot imagine how it will look when i'm seeing it up close, when i'm actually there. as the song goes, "i can only imagine..." i don't want to imagine anymore, i want to be there.

so i prayed that God would let me go to Him right there from the Wal-mart parking lot - no saying goodbyes, no tying up loose ends, no tears, no worries, no completing unfinished tasks. they'll understand and hopefully would be happy for me, i said. forget this world, forget tomorrow, forget the joys and pleasures of this place, forget it all, forget them all.

it's not that i want to die, it's that i want to live - with my Father. i want Him, i want to be there with Him. i don't want this life anymore. i want real life, life that i'll never get here.

but He didn't answer that prayer. i guess He wants me here for now. i guess i have things to do here.

and that's ok too :-) it gives me something to daydream about and to look forward to.

i'll be patient and wait for Him to call me. in the meantime, i'll keep living as best as i can while i'm here, walking in His light, putting my tiny feet in the large footprints He has imprinted on my path and told me to follow.

and i'll keep staring into the heavens and imagining what's going on on the other side of those clouds.