i'm not surprised

whoever thought God doesn't answer prayers needs to come step into my life sometimes. He answers them one way or another. this time, He answered quickly and unmistakably.

the new dude from next door....yeah, it is SO not going to even get to a first date. i prayed that God would let me know if he was someone good for my life - and He did. the conversation i just had with homie proved that to the fullest. and the answer to the question is an unequivocal, big fat 'NO!'

let me back up by saying that i had already done a little digging on dude yesterday when we exchanged email addresses. he had mentioned that he was on myspace earlier, so i used his email address to check his myspace page. and discovered that his profile said he was "divorced" and a "proud parent".

strikes 1 and 2.

it would take a remarkable man to make me get past the "divorced" part, but add "proud parent" to the mix and the case is closed. dragonfly doesn't date daddies.

i've tried it several times, each time trying to convince myself that i could try to make it work. but i can't - it's just too much baggage, too many individuals involved, too much history, too many emotions, and too much insecurity on my part.

well, baggage, in this dude's case, is a total understatement. dude has a full set of luggage, a few carry-ons, a duffel bag, AND a backpack. from our conversation today, i learned that he has been divorced twice, has 4 kids - 2 with the first ex-wife, one with the second ex-wife, and 1 with some extra woman - and all this and he's only 30 yrs old! sheesh, talk about an eventful life! strikes 3-12.

so um...yeah, there is no chance of a relationship. i'm not strong enough (nor do i even have the desire to) handle all of that drama. maybe if i were 40 i wouldn't care as much, or at all. but i'm only 26 - at this point in my life, i can't deal with 4 kids, 2 ex-wives and a baby mama.

on an interesting note though, even though i was put off by all his luggage, i really enjoy talking to him. our conversations are comfortable and they flow. he seems to be very honest about his life, and i don't feel nervous talking to him like i usually do when talking to someone new. but he does come off as a bit cocky and a little immature. and i don't really get the sense that he's learned much from his poor decision-making, when it comes to the failed marriages and such. he talks about it all rather casually, so i'm wondering how much he has grown (or IF he has grown) at all from these experiences.

well at the very least, i may have made a new friend. despite the downsides, he's pretty cool to just talk to, so far. i wouldn't mind maybe just kicking it as friends. maybe God allowed us to meet for a reason. that reason is definitely NOT so that we can be together, but that's ok. i'm not even disappointed that it won't work out. i've learned not to get my hopes up or have expectations when i first meet someone. no matter how attracted to them i am, i know that things can always go either way. so i'm totally fine with us just being friends, if we continue to talk.

now, i just have to figure out a way to nicely tell him that it won't go any further than this. that could be an uncomfortable conversation.