all grown up

i'm an adult.

no really...

i'm knocking on 30's door. this summer, in 6 months, i'll be 29. the last year of my 20's. my 20's swansong. the 20's fat lady is singing. my 20's last hurrah.

am i really ready to be.....thirty?

i FEEL grown up. i just met with an attorney yesterday about my car accident because my insurance company is giving me the runaround. meeting with an attorney is a very 30's kinda thing. i walked in that office with all my paperwork, contacts, files and copies in my little accordion folder. and he complimented me on how well-prepared i was, how excellent my records were and how organized i was. he said it was among the best recordkeeping he'd ever seen. see...? being an overly obsessive perfectionist pays off in the long run.

i'm now one of those women in the mall pushing a baby stroller. that's a very 30-something kinda thing. i'm also now one of those women who doesn't want to go out or do anything that's not involving my child. you know, one of those....

i used to always wonder about women who had children and their whole lives centered around their kids. they stopped going out and spending time with adults. they were ALWAYS with their kids. and i thought, "my goodness, that must get boring."

but now i understand fully. now i understand that kind of love and devotion to one's children. (though i do also understand that a mother NEEDS to get out and be around adults more and have a life outside of her children. it's healthy and perfectly ok. i'm working on getting there :-)

and truthfully, it DOES get boring sometimes. but even when i'm bored at home, i'm so overjoyed to be with my little girl. i don't want to leave her ever. especially now that i'm working again and i'm away from her all day. in the evenings and on weekends, that's my time to spend with her and at this point i don't want to be out hanging with friends much. i'd much rather be cuddling my little palomita.

...and cleaning and doing laundry. i get nothing done during the week anymore.

i'm sooo almost 30.

i feel a little sad to be preparing to say goodbye to my 20s. this decade has been so full of LIFE, both great times and tragic times. this decade has been my growing time. this decade was full of more formative years than my real formative years of childhood. most of what influences who i am today took place in my 20s. most of my life experiences that bring me both tears and cheers occurred during this decade.

now i'm preparing to enter a whole new chapter of my life. the start of a new era. the thirties era. what a scary unknown.

it's amazing how quickly life changes. ever since i had my daughter, i use her conception date, my pregnancy and her birth as a reference point for EVERYTHING. for example, i'll find an old Target receipt in my purse from December 29, 2008 and i'll think, "wow...that day i was shopping in Target oblivious to the fact that in a couple of weeks, my whole life would change forever and i'd be pregnant."

or i'll find a ticket stub dated May 5, 2009 and think, "aww, i was just really beginning to show around then..."

or i'll re-read an email i got on October 1, 2009 and think, "awww, my baby girl was born just 12 days after i read that email!"

i say all that to say that life changes drastically quickly. by my 3oth birthday, Lord willing i see it, my life could look totally different than it does today. my 30th birthday will roll around and i'll be remembering typing this blog and it'll feel like just yesterday. i feels like just yesterday i was worrying about how i'd ever get ready for the baby's arrival, how i was going to get my place ready, finish everything at work, make all the arrangements, what about this, what about that...and now my baby girl is 4 months old.

i'm looking forward to what my 30's may bring. and though i'm looking back on my 20's with some nostalgia piercing at my heart, i'm actually quite happy to see these years go. i grew up so much in my 20's that i'm anxious and excited to see who and what i can become in my 30's.

may be i'll know God more deeply and more intimately than i've ever known Him before. maybe i'll be living somewhere else. maybe i'll have a husband and more children. maybe i'll be driving a minivan. maybe i'll be ministering to someone in some way. maybe, maybe, maybe.

and just think, my 4-month old daughter will be almost 7 years old when i reach my 35th birthday!!

wow...that's a scary thought :-) i can't even imagine what she'll be like as a second grader.

cherish the day, folks.