who the heck is Parson Brown anyway?

at the risk of sounding like a scrooge, i will declare that i can't stand Christmas carols (except for Donny Hathaway's This Christmas but that doesn't count - it's a classic!). i could go a step further and say i almost can't stand this whole coming season.

i loooove Jesus and i love celebrating His birth. but for real, you guys can keep the caroling. it annoys me when i hear it playing in stores too, especially in october no less. i could live the rest of my life without hearing Johnny Mathis sing about a silver bell, sleigh ride or jingling something or other.

and there's always some cheap toys robotically jingle-belling, ho-ho-hoing and beating some stupid drum in Target or Wal-mart.

pa-rum-pa-pum-pum on these, guapo. i despise that Little Drummer Boy song. it is the worst song ever written in history (with "O Christmas Tree" as a close runner up - especially the german "O Tannenbaum" version UGGHHH). what is it even talking about??

i can't wait for the stuffing and mashed taters, awesome sunrise church service, and the warmth i feel when remembering that Christ was born. but y'all can take santa, those whack songs, and all the commercialism, cram it in your stocking and shove it up a chimney.

and what i'm dreading the most? that question that every single person (even complete strangers) whose path you cross asks:

"So...have you finished your Christmas shopping?"

no i haven't because i haven't started. and people want to look at me like i'm weird or they feel sorry for me when i say i stopped all that shopping/exchanging gifts/stress/bull years ago. all people care about is "who got what, how much it cost, i can't believe i bought her this expensive so and so and she didn't get me anything" jazz. and a bunch of spoiled rotten kids who have never even been to church to learn who Christ is but all folks got them caring about is a tree with a bunch of useless, too-expensive toys under it that they won't even care about anymore or will have broken come New Year's Eve.

keep it all.

and riddle me this: what is the meaning behind your getting a gift for someone you don't like and never speak to all the other 364 days of the year, but you get them a gift on Christmas just because they always get you some funky vanilla scented bath salts and lotions?

get outta here.

you got atheists and people who don't even know who Jesus is out running the malls and digging themselves into debt talking about Merry Christmas. what exactly are they celebrating? you won't see me out here celebrating Ramadan cuz i'm not Muslim. so what are people who aren't Christian celebrating when they celebrate Christmas? i'm just asking...

and where is the logic of stressing out and spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on gifts? this one dude i know last year told me he spent like $800 on his nieces and nephews alone and still wasn't finished - um, are you insane, sir? if my nieces and nephs don't know i love them without dropping almost a G for them, then i guess they'll just never know. or people who have kids/nieces/nephs who are infants and they spend $2000 on toys. the kid doesn't even know who he is and barely knows who his own mother is, let alone know what a Christmas is. what sense does that make?? if you have that much cash to throw around, how about you buy some groceries and supplies for people who are dirt poor and have nothing, not just on Christmas but on any other day.

i could see if people were out buying some frankincense and myrrh (where can you find good myrrh these days? LOL) in honor of the Wise Men's gifts. but i don't think Jesus cares about iPods and plasma screens too much.

my Christmas is about Jesus first, then togetherness and wellness of my fam. throw in some good eats and i'm a happy camper. oh, and i have to watch "A Christmas Story" because Ralphie is my guy!! but please don't shop for me, especially if you're looking for a gift from me in return.

all you will get is a thank you, a hug and a God Bless you.

Ho Ho Ho!!