i couldn't make this stuff up if i wanted to

some people really make me wanna holler.

what. ever.

it's amazing how easily i allow a person's negative isms to completely shift my mood from joyful to irritated and tense.

A, let me borrow your yard signs for a minute, yes? they just won't be put in my yard. i'm gonna get them airbrushed onto a t-shirt, my blog template, and a mylar balloon that i will carry around with me.

but i will continue to shine the light that God has put in me regardless of "them."

anyway...."IT'S FRIIIIIDAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!" (for those from dc/md/va, you remember David Hanes, who passed away some years ago, used to do that on the radio every friday morning?? lol it was great :-)

so last night around 10pm, i'm in Rite Aid picking up a bday card for someone. while i was in there i decided i was hungry and began to cruise the junk food aisle to see if i could find anything that wouldn't make me feel too guilty and that didn't cost too much.

speaking of costing too much, WHY is cereal so darn expensive!!?!?!?! and the boxes have gotten smaller!! the boxes are pencil thin and short now, but still cost like $5. WHO is still buying cereal at those prices! a lucky charm my foot, you better eat some oatmeal and fruit. that is exactly why a box hasn't been on my kitchen shelves in years. psssh!

but i digress...

so i'm cautiously cruising the aisles, eyeing the goodies on the shelves, trying to decide it any of them were worth the calories and the loot. and as i peek around the next aisle, i see the top of a very tall man's head bobbing above the next shelf over. when he gets to where i am he says,

"what are you doing hiding back here in the corner?"

i reply with a laugh, "i'm not hiding...i was just seeing what was in this aisle."

Rite Aid Guy (RAG) - who was actually very cute: "uh huh...you were just waiting back here for me to come over here..." (what?)

me: "um...no...i was really just looking at the food."

*just to give you a mental, RAG was a cross between Jon B (physically) and 2Pac (everything else, complete with tattooed forearms).*

RAG: "what's your name?"

me: "dragonfly..."

then RAG gives up the classic line that i so loathe:

"so where's your boyfriend at tonight?"

me: (as i'm still looking over the bags of chips and wondering why one small bag costs $3.19),

"i don't know, he's at home i guess."

(TECHNICALLY that wasn't a lie. while i don't have a man (yet), i know God has someone out there for me in this world, that he is preparing for me as we speak. so for all i know, my man really was at home at that moment - after all it was 10pm on a school night).

RAG: "oh, so i can't get the number then?"

me: (with a smile) "no...but thank you. have a nice night, ok?"

RAG: "it's cool. i'm married anyway, so it doesn't matter."

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wait.....what?

me: (with a disapproving face) "so...why are you talking to me then?"

RAG: (speaking to my spine by that point) "cuz i'm about to go through a divorce..."

no seriously. this really happened. just last night.

and what is "about to go through a divorce" anyway?

translation, "i'm still married but we have issues and i'm about to roll out."

roll on, amigo. roll on.