my face hurts

there really is no place like home. dorothy didn't know how wise she really was.

i want to go home - my earthly home, that is (though needless to say, i want to go to my heavenly home also). my apartment is my favorite place in this world. the scent of my white tea and lily plug-ins, the sounds of my keets singing away, the big green eyes of my kitties staring at me expectantly awaiting their hugs and food, my fuschia muppet-like slipper-boots, and my bed - oh, my heavenly, warm bed. that's where i want to be. if it were up to me, i'd probably never leave. there's no noise at home. i don't have to be anything, do anything. i can be naked and free (both literally and figuratively, lol).

my jaws are killing me right now. i have awful bruxism (the clenching kind, not the grinding). i do it at night when i sleep (so much that i wear a night guard when i sleep because my dentist said my clenching is wearing out my molars), and i do it during the day and am not even aware until the intense throbbing starts permeating throughout my teeth and face.

you know what's great? being in a pool, face-down, floating on the water, and closing your eyes. not moving, not swimming, just floating. it makes you lose all sense of direction, weight, and orientation. all there is, is the darkness behind your eyelids, the sensation of suspending in water, floating, weightless, careless, the soothing gurgle of water whispering in your ears. it's a sensation like no other. it's like swimming in a dream.

i wonder if that's what babies in the womb feel like. such peaceful suspension, darkness, quiet, protection. no wonder they scream bloody murder when they're thrust into the light and noise.

too much light. too much noise. i'm longing for the gurgle again.