unexpected blessings

God is awesome.

i can't say it enough. and every time i say it, i mean it just as strongly as the last time. He proves every day how wonderful He is, and i do not deserve His mercy and goodness. He is awesome and i will forever praise Him.


My work day was winding down. I was cleaning off my messy desk because the CEO and the President of the company are coming tomorrow - gotta make sure everything looks good. so i decided to check my email for the last time before i shut my computer down and finished my cleaning before i went home. and lo and behold, i see a name in my inbox that i haven't seen in 3 years - my old best girlfriend from high school.

our friendship ended 3 years ago on a really bad note, and i've missed her terribly (i think i wrote a post about it some time ago). i think about her all the time and i pray to God for enlightenment and wisdom on things, and if our friendship ending was all my fault. i had tried to reach out to her a year or so ago, but she never responded to my email. so i decided to let it go and that if it was God's will for us to become friends again, He would bring that to fruition in His own perfect timing. but i continued to wonder if how i handled things with her was a mistake and telling God that i was sorry for anything that i did wrong that caused our friendship to end. and all this time, i've wondered how she and her son are doing, missing her, praying for her.

and today, out of nowhere, she emails me. and in the email she said that lately i've been on her mind a lot and she felt it was God giving her signs that she needed to reach out to me. she apologized for her role in our "break up" and said she hoped i was doing well. i responded and asked her forgiveness for my role in our break up as well and told her all the things i'd thought and prayed about her over these years. i feel such a relief, like such a burden has been lifted.

i'm not sure where this is going, if anywhere. i don't know if we'll become friends again. I will wait for God to move and work and let me know what His will is. but in the meantime, i just thank Him for putting it on her heart to contact me. it gave her an opportunity to express her feelings, and it answered my questions about how she had been feeling about how our friendship ended. it gave me an opportunity to humble myself and apologize for my role in our break up, and to let her know i still and have always loved her and miss our friendship. my intention was not to say "hey, let's be friends again," nor do i think that was her intention either. but we both got to say "i'm sorry" and tie up a loose end. it's so important to do that because i do not want my life to end having never said things i've wanted to say to someone, or having never apologized or seeking forgiveness from someone. tomorrow is not promised to any of us and i don't want my soul burdened with any unfinished business between any of my brothers or sisters here on earth.

it's so crucial that we learn to humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness of those we have hurt, and to forgive those who have hurt us. one day, i will stand before the Almighty Father and i want Him to look into my heart and say "well done, daughter. well done."

i thank you Lord for this blessing today. You never cease to amaze me. I am not worthy of all the goodness You give to me, but i'm so thankful that You love me enough to give it. I love you.