just for a day

just for a day, i want to not think. to not wonder about tomorrow, or plan for a future. i want to not be responsible or think about what i have to finish or start. i want to not miss him or her or him. i want to not have to remember to call her to thank her or feel bad because i forgot. i want to not worry about someone who's hurting or cry for someone grieving. i want to not be conscious of what i do or say. i want to not care about how many calories i've had or how much i need to exercise. i want to not think about how my car is overdue for an oil change and my brakes squeak and how much that's going to cost. i want to not wonder why we're not close anymore and decide if i should try to fix it. i want to not worry that i'm singing too loudly and maybe disturbing my neighbors. i want to not care that i just tripped in front of everyone and if they noticed or not. i want to not worry that i'm not smart enough, not pretty enough, not fun enough, not everything enough. just for a day, i want to really breathe.