what goes around...

i had a looooong talk with this female i know the other day. it was very refreshing and enlightening, to say the least. she and i used to be very much on the level, and then one day, months ago, out of the blue, she flipped it on me completely....stopped talking to me, barely spoke whenever we saw each other in passing...it was so confusing. i had no idea what i had done to anger her, or if i had done anything at all. and a large part of me wanted to approach her and ask what was up, but the stubborn part of me refused to give in first. the way i see it is this: if you feel like i've done something to offend or hurt you, and you're a grown woman, and you're not mute (physically incapable of speaking), then why play these silent treatment games? say what the hell is on your mind. i gave all that ish up in grade school.

so anyway, that went on for months, and i will admit i was somewhat hurt by it, simply because i had no idea what had happened. if i had even the tiniest inkling that i had done something wrong to her, i certainly would've swallowed any prideful or fearful feelings (i am the most non-confrontational person you'll ever meet) and approached her. but because i honestly felt as though i had done nothing wrong, i just let it go. i chalked it up to the fickle, unstable, not-to-be-trusted nature of humans, and i let it go and merrily went on with my life.

well, over time, things got better somehow and she gradually started to speak to me again, day by day, word by word. and although i was burning with curiosity as to what had happened to cause the rift between us initially, i never brought it up (neither did she)...i just didn't feel comfortable confronting the issue, since it seemed as if whatever it was, had dissipated. we even started hanging out again.

this past week, months after all the confusion first began, she and i had a very long, unexpected evening chat, in which she informed me that her reason for her former, sudden snubbing of me was that this other chick, who i THOUGHT i was fairly cool with, told her that i had said some not-so-nice "thing" about her. however, she wouldn't tell me what specifically was said.

now i ask you....what kind of elementary school ish is that?????

anyway, she wouldn't tell me what specifically was said because she didn't want to cause any problems between me and this other chick (hmm, too late!). she felt that if she told me what this other "woman" had said, that i would inevitably and understandably react, and it would be apparent in my dealings with her, which would perpetuate the whole negative situation that we were trying to get past. i respected that decision and perhaps it was for the best because by this point, i was already heated. and hearing whatever lies this other chick told her in my name would only have pissed me off even further. she had several reasons for bringing all of this up that night: A) to tell me to beware of this other chick whom i never really considered a "friend" per se, but that i was cool with and would hang out with every once in a blue moon. she is not to be trusted. B) to apologize for abruptly ceasing communication with me back then without giving me any explanation as to what had angered her (her receiving this mysterious false information from this lying trick(ster)). C) to let me know that she now realizes the devious nature of the lying 'informant' and that she had doubts all along that i had said this mess about her, but that she was mad and hurt and didn't know if she could trust me anymore because of all the confusion.

so i accepted the apology and i was grateful for the deep level of communication we had that night. but now i'm feeling as if i have no idea who to trust anymore. i'm pissed that this other chick would actually do that to me, when i've never ever done anything to her to make her have reason to tarnish my name in someone else's eyes. and i don't even have the energy to approach this issue because it's just ridiculous that women her age even still do things like that. that is go gay and juvenile!! and i don't even know if i should fully believe what this other one is saying either. anyone who could just stop talking to me like that based on hear-say just may not be someone i need in my life. right now i'm fine though, going on with my days, just realizing more and more that many people wear the mask of virtue, but few actually wear it in truth.

i can't believe that in the year 2005, soon to be 2006, that grown women are still playing these 'she said this about you' (which in this case was absolutely false, because i have never once said anything negative about this chick to that other lying chick) bull, trying to cause trouble. it's pathetic...WHO has that much time on their hands? with all the problems in the world, and all the problems we all have to address in our OWN lives, WHO has time to try to start negative drama in the lives of others??

i certainly don't.

all i can say to that is that, as the old cliché goes, what goes around, comes around. and when havoc is wreaked in the liar's life, it won't be anything orchestrated by me...i'll just be sitting back, spectating, and shaking my head at her in pity.