i just don't understand people

ok, so i was reading on another blog this whole discussion about people having children out of wedlock that just really tee'd me off.

now let me make it clear that even though i am currently pregnant and not anywhere near married, i still don't condone having children out of wedlock. just because i'm doing it doesn't mean that i approve of it. i sinned, had sex, and got pregnant as a result.

the end.

i wag my finger at my own situation so there's no hypocrisy here whatsoever.

but what KILLS ME is the number of people who are so quick to talk about their premarital sexcapades, the number of people who are in relationships where they are regularly having sex with their partners, the number of people who live with their boyfriends/girlfriends...and they see nothing "wrong" with that...

...as long as no children are born out of wedlock.

they'll say things like, "i don't agree with having children out of wedlock."

oh, but you do "agree" with having sex out of wedlock....how does that work exactly?

why is it ok to have sex with someone you're not married to but it's not ok to have a child with someone you're not married to?

don't get me wrong, i don't condone sex outside of marriage, though i've been guilty of it. i learned my lesson, repented, and became celibate.

then messed up again one time years later and voila - little baby dragonfly was conceived.

and allow me to climb up on this box of detergent and be what so many people are so quick to call a Bible thumper and go out on a limb and say this:

when you live immorally one way, you have no room or right to turn your nose up at other immoral or disapproved of situations.

shacking up with your man or woman, having sex without a wedding ring (or having a wedding ring and having sex with someone other than the one you exchanged those vows with), and all that emcompasses is just as wrong and unacceptable as producing a kid out of wedlock.

the whole taboo of out-of-wedlock children came about because of the whole taboo of out-of-wedlock sex, whether people realize it or not. and it's all "taboo" because of God's word, which declares that sex be enjoyed within the confines of marriage only.

but somewhere along the lines, people lost the sense of shame and taboo about having sex while not married, but still kept their reservations and high-horsedness regarding having children outside of marriage.

newsflash: they're both wrong.

so if you're doing the deed and you have never said nary a wedding vow before your betrothed and God, then you're just as shameful as someone having a kid or kids with no marriage to show for it.

so while you're wagging your finger at every "stupid" woman out there who is dumb enough to get herself knocked up without a husband, do us all a favor and wag your finger back at yourself when you're done. having sex with your "significant other" but using protection or birth control to prevent a pregnancy does not make you any less "stupid" or righteous. and you better hope that those forms of contraception don't ever fail you. ANYONE having sex is a potential parent in the making, whether birth control is used or not (with the exception of women who have had hysterectomies).

i don't know why people think it could never happen to them, as they have sex up on that high horse and act like every person who has ever had a kid without a husband or a wife are the riff-raff of society.

take it from me: it doesn't take much to put you in that same situation.

when people sit down and talk to me about my pregnancy, i am serious about letting them know where i stand - that though i LOVE and embrace my little baby and welcome her into my life (and i CHOSE to give her life and not try to cover up my sin by taking her life away), not only do i not condone having children outside of marriage, but i also don't condone the act that conceived the child in the first place. the two really are not separable. i can't repent for getting knocked up without repenting for having sex.

it doesn't work that way. and believe me, God is not looking at your sex life with approval so long as you don't plant any seeds.


i had been celibate for years. and the ONE time i got weak and gave into sexual desire, i got pregnant. it can happen...get over yourself.

not meant to offend, but to clarify. i hate when people decide which areas of life they will be moral and "fake righteous" about, and which areas they aren't.

pick a side of the fence and stay there.

that is all.