a blessed embarassment

happy monday little Tweets.

i know 'tweets' are the name given to entries on twitter (which i don't use). but i just think it's a cute word. and it seems like a person's nickname...

anyway, my tweets, yesterday was quite the adventure.

so i'm in church, having a grand old time, and after praise and worship, offering, announcements and other preliminary things, it was time for the Word of God.

we were well into my pastor's message (probably more than half finished) when all of a sudden, this huge wave of nausea and lightheadedness swept over me. i thought i was going to vomit, and i thought to myself, "i really should make my way to the aisle so i can run to the ladies' room."

that was the last thought i remember having.

the next thing i know, some guy is standing over me fanning me with a program. a church friend of mine sitting to my right was cradling me in her arms and another friend behind me was speaking to me softly.

i had passed out. still seated in my chair, never having stood up, i just slumped over to one side.

i tried to open my eyes, and managed to for a second but they closed again. after another few minutes, i opened them again, and a nurse was kneeling in front of me. someone handed me a juice box to sip on; another held a spoonful of applesauce to my lips; someone commented that i was sweating and wiped my forehead; someone else asked if i was diabetic; someone behind me told the nurse that i wasn't diabetic was that i was expecting.

there were so many voices, faces and hands. the nurse told me they were bringing a wheelchair for me and in moment, they were helping me out of my seat and into the wheelchair. though i was still rather groggy and not at all sure what had happened yet, i could feel hundreds of eyes on me (my church is pretty huge) as the nurse wheeled me out down the aisles and out the door and took me to the church's clinic.

two of my church friends who were seated near me (one of them i affectionately call my "Church Mom" because she's quite a bit older than me and has "adopted" me) grabbed my Bible and journal, which had fallen to the floor when i fainted, as well as my purse, and followed us to the clinic.

they all took such good care of me, giving me fruit and juice, asking if i had eaten today (which i hadn't), asking questions about my pregnancy and laying me down on the bed to rest. my church mom even took my shoes off for me. they recommended that i not drive so i called my Dad, who lives near my church, and he and my stepmom came to pick me up. my dad drove me home while my stepmom drove my car to my home.

not really knowing what was going on, i called my doctor when i got home to see if i needed to head to a hospital. she said my fainting was probably a "hypoglycemic episode" brought on by my not having eaten yet that morning, which may have caused my blood sugar to drop too low. i was still feeling quite a bit shaky and not fully well, so she recommended eating and drinking lots of fluids. but that if i didn't feel better after a few hours, to head to the ER.

although i didn't feel 100% well again even by the time i went to bed that night, i never went to the hospital. i didn't think it was necessary and the doctor said all they'd do was probably give me an IV to hydrate me. having been to the ER a few times before in my life, i know that it's not a pleasant environment. they keep you waiting for hours while you're miserable and dying, stick an IV in your arm for another few hours, and then charge you a few hundred bucks and send you home. at the end of the night, you've wasted an ungodly amount of time, you still feel like crud, and you're out a lot of cash.

so i opted to weather it at home.

my dad had called my sister, who then called me mom and they both called me in a panic and rushed to my apartment (my mom lives over an hour away and my sister lives about 35-40 mins away). i had called my friend and let him know what had happened, and he came right over as well. they all loved all over me and took care of me, but also scolded me that i needed to make sure i ate better and more frequently.

i got about 39 different lectures on the importance of eating during pregnancy. honestly, i don't purposely NOT eat. the case with church mornings is that my service begins before 8am. so i'm out the door by 7:30am at the latest. i don't really have the desire nor the time to eat breakfast before i leave for church, but i always eat a decent breakfast afterwards once i return home.

but anyways, though the entire day was exhausting, scary and a bit embarassing, it was full of so many blessings that i don't even feel like i've done God justice with my praise and thanksgiving. there's too much to thank Him for and my words seem too few.

1. i'm so thankful that i passed out in church of all places. though it was embarassing to cause a commotion in front of so many people (though in my fog, i think i still heard my pastor's voice so i don't think he ever stopped his message even with my section causing a disturbance, which is good), i'm so grateful that i was among people i trusted and even quite a few familiar faces. those seated near me that i knew were kind enough to come make sure i was ok and stay with me until my Dad arrived. and there were even several people i had never met (i.e. the nurse and a few other church staff members) who tended to and took care of me. what a blessing to be in such a vulnerable position among church family. i could have passed out while driving (how scary and dangerous), while shopping in Target, while alone in my apartment. i am so so thankful to God that it happened while at church, embarassment and all :-)

2. i'm also so so thankful that i never made it out of my seat. when i started feeling weird and nauseated, i contemplated getting up to go to the bathroom but passed out before i could. i'm so happy that i did because if i had passed out while walking or standing, i and the baby could have gotten really hurt. Thank God that i was still seated in a comfortable, cushy chair.

3. God showed me the love and kindness of people through each individual who helped me. they were all so sweet to me, fed me, stayed by my side and were just all around awesome. while we waited in the clinic for my Dad to pick me up, my church Mom even broke out a bag of baby clothes she had brought to give to me! i hadn't even noticed her carrying a bag. so she thought as a way to cheer me up, she'd give it to me right then. it was a wonderful surprise and a distraction from all that was going on, and i enjoyed looking at all the beautiful baby girl things she had generously bought for my little one.

4. my friend and my family members dropped everything they were doing and came to my home to make sure i was ok. even with all the loving scolding i received, it was wonderful to see their love and concern for me. i wasn't even going to tell my Mommy and Stepdad until later because i didn't want them worrying and i knew my Mom was going to hightail it down the highway to come be by my side, which i did not want her to do. i just didn't want to burden her or worry her that way. but in the end, i'm glad they, my sister and her boyfriend, and my friend came. it's amazing to see people demonstrate a heart of love towards me because i honestly don't deserve all that. God is so merciful to me.

5. while waiting for my Dad to arrive, the nurse wheeled me out to the front doors of the church so we could be ready and see when he got there. at one point while waiting, a lady i had never seen nor met before came in through the doors for the next service that was beginning soon. she walked up to me, smiled and hugged me, and told me that God was going to give me the desires of my heart. she also told me that she could see blessings all over me and that she just had to tell me that. i was in awe! i asked her her name, which was Myra, and told her mine. and she just kept affirming that God was going to do wonderful things in my life. i was so amazed and shocked and just felt so blessed that i wanted to cry. i had never met this lady before in my life and i know God was using her to speak to me as i sat in that wheelchair, tired and shaky and waiting to go home.

6. i had been so worried about the baby the last few days because she doesn't seem to be moving as much as she usually does. babies do have their active days and their not-so-active days, but i was worried that something might be wrong. usually at certain points in the days, she's kicking and moving a lot, and her movements are quite strong. but for a few days, she seemed to be rather quiet, only moving here and there. and then after having passed out yesterday morning, i began to really worry that my fainting and the baby's decreased activity were connected and something was terribly wrong. i did let the doctor know when i called her, and she told me that as long as she was moving, even if it wasn't as much as usual, that she should be ok. but of course, i was still worried and not convinced.

so late last night, after everyone else had already left, my friend stayed to watch over me and make sure i was ok. i had told him of my concerns about the baby earlier and he could still see the worry in my eyes, especially after what had happened that morning. he lay his hands on my belly and prayed over me and the baby. it was so moving and awesome and i know God heard our voices. not long afterwards, the baby started moving, and moving and kicking and moving. and she didn't quiet down for quite awhile. God was letting us know she was well :-)


i am just so thankful today. thought it was a rough and exhausting day, God used all of yesterday's events to show me His love and i thank and praise Him for that.

i called to make a doc's appt for wednesday, just to get checked out and make sure i and the baby are really ok. but i know that God is taking care of us.

storms may blow, but He's there in the midst of them. He was there yesterday. He'll be here in today's storms. and He'll carry me through tomorrow's as well.