raging

i'm in the worst mood today. i'm actually being rather salty with folks. i'd feel badly about it but...i got 99 problems and right about now, their opinions are not one.

part hormonal, part situational.

i'm vulnerable and alone. i've never felt more alone in my entire life. no one can really pretend they understand because they don't. the one person i want to reach for, i can't. he can't meet my needs the way i'd desire him too. he's not reaching for me the way i would expect he should. but then again, i can't have expectations of him. if i do, i'll be disappointed. i'm already disappointed.

i hate the gap between us - physically hate it. but i have no right to complain. this was my doing, and i'm reaping what i've sown. now i have to find a way to pick up my own pieces when they fall down. i'd be a fool to expect him to pick anything up for me.

he doesn't really belong to me. but now he's stuck with me i suppose.

i have to find a way to learn to be ok on my own. because that's exactly what i am...on my own.