why you shouldn't marry me

so as a follow-up to the previous post ("why you should marry me" - see below) i thought it wise to examine the not-so-marryable qualities in me that i pray the Lord works on and cleans up so that i will not only be a better witness for Him (in some of these areas), but also so that i will be the best wife i can be.

so here are the reasons why you shouldn't marry me. or better put, things that i know will not serve to edify a marriage and that i do not want to bring into a marriage. i hope that in time God strengthens these weaknesses in me. He's working on many of these now, believe me. and it hurts, lol.

1) i have strong jealous tendencies. i'm territorial and i cannot stand to have my territory threatened. or even the perception of threat. i have been cheated on, lied to and abused. those scars have not yet healed and trusting men (people in general, really) is very hard for me. if a woman even smiled at my husband, my first desire would be to grind her into dust.

2) i need a lot of attention, unreasonably so at times. and when i feel i'm not getting enough, i shut down. i need constant reassurance that i'm loved, desired, and cared for. that can be burdensome to others.

3) i'm very, very sensitive. my feelings get hurt over things that wouldn't bother "normal" people. this can cause a lot of dissension, misunderstanding and unnecessary hurt.

4) i'm not always very good about speaking up when i'm hurt or bothered by something. i tend to bottle things inside. not good for communication.

5) i have a lot of insecurities and abandonment issues. which leads to #1, 2 and 3 and possibly 4.

6) i'm not the best housekeeper in the world. i'm not dirty by any means, but i'm messy. for instance, if you were to visit my home today, you will find 12 pairs of shoes under the dining room table (i love being barefoot so i kick my shoes off as soon as i come home - and under the table is where i do that); i have piles of (paid) bills, junk mail, catalogs, and various other papers scattered on my dining room table as well. needless to say, i don't do any "dining" at the table. there are also several purses and jackets littering the dining room chairs - this is usually my first stop when i get home (hence, kicking off the shoes and jackets) and my last stop before i leave (hence, the purses - when i change them).

i also have a basket full of clean laundry that i washed and dried last weekend that is still chillin in the laundry basket in my room, all wrinkled. WHY i haven't folded and put it all away, i have no idea. and i wait until i run out of clothes before i do the laundry. BUT i keep clean kitchen and bathroom :-) and i vacuum A LOT because i have cats.

7) i sleep a lot. i love to sleep. this is another reason i will live to be 124 years old. dragonfly gets her rest! there's not much you can do to persuade me to get up and get out when i want to take a nap. it's better for everyone if you just leave me alone.

8) i'm moody. i can go from "come near to me, touch me, hold me, kiss me, i want company, i want to talk" to "i want to be left alone" in 1.9 seconds.

9) i have poor time management skills. i am always, always, ALWAYS late. for everything. therefore i'm always rushing. it really gets on people's nerves. heck, it gets on MY nerves, but i can't seem to get better at it.

10) i'm not into politics - at all. i'm aware, i'm knowledgeable, and i care about the state of the world to a degree, but i have no interest in discussing it on a political level nor watching it all unfold. don't try to engage me in a conversation about elections, candidates, and "the issues" because i simply won't go. if you want to talk to me about the state of the world from a spiritual standpoint, get at me and we can talk all night. everything else is moot and you can keep.

and i would rather watch fleas mate than CNN.

11) i tend to start things that i don't finish. i'm very scatterbrained. and i'll go full-throttle with something one minute, then i move on to something else when i get bored, even if i haven't finished the first thing.

12) i'm a homebody. that may be a great quality to some, but to others it may not be. i'd rather kick it at home, comfortable, and cozy than to be on any social scene any day.

13) i'm very selfish with my time. i like to do things when I want to do them, not on anyone else's time clock.

14) boy am i stubborn. and i like to do things my way. i usually feel that my way is better than yours. LOL

15) i procrastinate, chronically and insanely. i wait until the last possible minute to do everything, but i promise i don't do it purposely. but then when the time comes, i'm stressed out, late and rushing all over again (see # 8). right now? i have mad work to be doing. but what am i doing? This.


so there you have it - just a tiny peek into why i am and am not a good catch.

while this list is long, i don't fret over my many shortcomings (and believe me, this is not all of it). God works on me every single day. and the work that He has begun in me, He will complete.

i don't strive for perfection, i just strive for Him. the rest slowly falls into place. and i know that whomever He chooses for me will perfectly fit me, and i him - flaws and all.

amen.