tuesday reflections

i am really insecure. wow. that's a problem. i've always known that, but my insecurity just slapped me in my own face.

why is it that someone else's "goodness" in some aspect makes me feel less good?

i can have a handful of seeds. and feel really good about my seeds. until someone else walks up and shows me their handful of seeds.

now all of a sudden, i'm comparing my handful to their handful. and my handful seems insignificant, less attractive, less "good", less full. their seeds look bigger than mine. their seeds look better. they have more than me. everyone likes their seeds better than mine.

now my seeds are looking pretty shabby to me.

feeling good about myself and my accomplishments should not be contingent upon what everyone else has or is doing. i know that in my head. so how can i make my heart catch up?

why do i think everyone else is better than/better off than me?