i'm swear i'm not insane

ok, so i'm convinced one of my co-workers must think i'm clinically crazy or have multiple personalities. see, i have this habit of talking out loud to myself - helps me to gather my thoughts. when i think silently, in my head, there are too many thoughts running around in there, and i can't focus on just one. i'm thinking, 'i forgot to finish that report; i'm hungry, what should i eat; i need to do laundry when i get home; i hope my cats aren't at home digging up my plants again; i can't wait to go home; i need to send out these emails ASAP...'

so thinking to myself gets me nowhere because all the thoughts are competing to be at the forefront of my mind and just end up one jumbled up mess. i don't know, maybe i have a touch of ADD or something. therefore, i think out loud because whatever thought i'm vocalizing at the time is the one that gets the priority - i mean, i have no choice but to focus on that one thought because i'm saying it loud. otherwise, i'd never complete a thought process.

in any case, EVERYTIME i'm sitting here thinking out loud (a.k.a, talking to myself) this same coworker comes out here near my desk, whether to ask me a question or to step out of the office. she must walk about barefoot or with magic silent shoes because i never hear her coming - she just appears out of nowhere! and she catches me in the middle of my sentence. she's too nice to call me out on it so she's never said anything to me. but i just know she's thinking, "man, this chick is cuuuuh-rrrraaaaaaaazy..." she probably let it slide the first time she walked in on one of my monologues, thinking perhaps that it was just a fluke thing.

but i'm guessing after the 5th time, she's now chalked it up to pure insanity. i want to tell her so badly that i'm really not insane...really; for real. but i fear that my explaining WHY i'm talking to myself will actually make me look even crazier. not only does the explanation itself sound ridiculous even to me, but it would be admitting that i recognize that i do indeed talk to myself. so the lesser of the evils seems to be to just leave it alone and hope that she's not afraid of me now.