that freakin' vegan!

sometimes it's hard being a vegan - i'll admit. but the difficulties don't come from lack of food variety or anything of that sort. trust, this chickadee right here eats plenty. good and plenty.

the problem comes from the disdainful looks i get from meat-eaters. which is why i despise large social gatherings where food is going to be served. it's inevitable that, at these functions, someone will attempt to serve me a plate of something of the fleshy origin. and all eyes and ears are on me as i am forced to say, albeit gratefully and politely, "i'm sorry...i don't eat meat." then there comes "The Look" as if to say..."Well excuuuuuuuuuse me!" and then i'm left to shamefully eat my bread and salad and endure the barrage of "why are you a vegan" questions. and don't even get me started on the agony of having to refuse a second item that may be meat-free but is laden with cheese or something. sigh. that's just downright painful.

now, the questions i don't typically mind, as long as they are generally inquisitive and not along the lines of...."you don't eat meat??? WHAT??! what's wrong with you...??" but i understand that meat-eating is a big part of american culture (actually, a big part of most cultures), so of course, people will be curious of one who diverts from the "norm." so truly, i don't mind people asking me questions, and i always answer with no problem.

but what gets my goose is when people act like i have a disease because i don't eat meat. i think people are offended when you refuse to eat what they put before you, even if you refuse it politely and graciously. i never make a scene or a disgusted face. i'm never rude about it, and in fact, i'm very shy when telling someone that i'm vegan and therefore can't eat what they have laid before me - i feel bad about it. then i feel bad that i feel bad because i figure, hey this is the life i've chosen, i have no reason to apologize, right? it's not a big deal when going to family functions because they know about my "different" eating habits. but pretty much anywhere else, it's a problem. and i usually end up leaving hungry because the only thing edible for me at the function was a roll or two.

you'd think after six years, i'd have built up a tougher vegan-y skin. but at times, it's pretty uncomfortable. i guess people feel you have rejected THEM personally when you reject something they have prepared. i can understand initially feeling that way when you don't have all the info. but after learning it, i know i'd be accepting of someone else's wishes without feeling like it was a personal attack. i mean, if someone were deathly allergic to nuts, and i served them a hefty slice of pecan pie, i wouldn't feel badly that they declined to eat it (i know it's not the same thing - i won't die if i eat animal products...but still...you get the point right?). don't get me wrong: a lot of people are genuinely accommodating and if they know i'm coming, they try to prepare at least one dish that i can eat. but there's always that one person who looks at me like "oh...you're one of THOSE, huh?"

over the weekend, my church had a health expo - great time, lots of exhibits focusing on different health-related topics, workshops, classes. one of the workshops i attended was on diabetes management, prevention, and healthy eating (no i don't have diabetes, but have several family members who do, so i thought i'd learn a thing or two). well, as soon as i walked into the room, i discovered they were also giving out food to attendees: chicken, potatoes, string beans, and greens. but i didn't think much of it, as the food was at the front of the room and i figured it was self-serve, available to whomever wanted to partake. i didn't (want to partake, that is), so i found an empty seat and listened to the lecture that had already begun (i was late of course, as i am to everything in life).

well, much to my mortification, they were SERVING people as they sat down. so a minute after i got comfy in my seat, a very nice lady came and served me a plate of baked chicken, potatoes, string beans and greens. before the plate hit the table all the way, i nicely whispered to her that i didn't eat chicken, so thank you very much, but...no thanks. she was very nice and understood and offered to bring me a plate of just veggies. i thought (and said) "Great! thank you!" thank the Lord...i avoided the usual discomfort. she was really nice and didn't seem bothered at all. after she left to go get me a new plate though, i of course drew stares and peculiar looks from sitters-by (maybe i hadn't whispered as quietly as i thought. or maybe they just saw her take the plate away and wondered why i wasn't eating....what? a black girl who doesn't like chicken?? impossible...or maybe i'm just too sensitive mixed with a dollop of paranoia).

so the nice lady came back with a plate of oven-baked potatoes, string beans and greens. i was so grateful for her niceness and that she was really trying to take care of me. the potatoes were good, string beans were even better, but the greens....i took one bite and almost threw up. there were bits of bacon in the greens (which i hadn't seen because the sneaky little buggers were hiding under the leaves). why oh why do people have to "flavor" greens with pork and ruin a perfectly good vegetable! and of course, all the piggy flavoring was infused into each and every piece of green and the juices, so i couldn't even attempt to eat around it, just to be polite. so i forced myself to swallow what was already in my mouth because i wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible. and i just ate my potatoes and string beans and tried to ignore the lovely scent of bacon wafting upward from the remaining greens. i then discreetly covered the plate with my napkin, hoping no one would notice that i didn't eat what was left on the plate.

i felt slightly nauseated for at least an hour afterwards. it may sound dramatic but you have to understand, i haven't eaten meat in over 6 years. the nausea i'm almost certain, was totally psychological. but still...i gobbled a few wint-o-green lifesavers after that ordeal.

so i have decided to man-up (or woman-up) and not be such a wuss when it comes to these matters. i have no reason to apologize for my diet or feel badly that others are looking at me strangely. i should be used to it - i've always been a bit of a question mark. as long as i'm nice and respectful when declining food that i choose to not eat, then i have no reason to feel like shrinking underneath the table. i'm respectful of all the meat-eaters in my life (which is pretty much everyone i know) - they never have to explain their diet choices to me or apologize for chowing down on some ribs in front of me.

i don't stand around their dinner tables with PETA fliers and picket signs. i encourage my loved ones to eat healthily and in moderation for their own good, but i have never nor would i ever tell them not to eat meat - that's a personal choice and commitment and not one that suits everyone. i truly am not grossed out watching others eat meat and pay them no mind. i'm used to it, afterall, and as long as it's not on my OWN plate, i'm fine. so if i can accept and embrace (sometimes even kiss - hee heee) a carnivore with no qualms, then surely they'll all just have to deal with weird old tree-huggin' me :-)

i am not my food! :-)