living

i moved into my new place on friday...and i couldn't be more excited!! i absolutely adore my little apartment. it's cozy and it has so much potential and character - things are shaping up nicely, and will be even better if i could just find the time and energy to finish unpacking. living alone is just what i expected it to be, what i wanted it to be. i am free to be me at any moment, not worrying about being considerate of anyone else, not worrying about waking anyone else with my noise. i can sing as loudly as i want, be as messy as i want, dance naked if i want (lol), and there's no one to answer to but me and my parakeets, who sing right along with me. i love it!!

but living alone has reminded me, full force, of how alone i feel sometimes. dont' get me wrong, i wouldn't go back to having a roommate for anything...BUT the other night, i was relaxing in my room and wishing i had another pair of arms near me. someone to call and invite over to watch a movie. just someone...special. not someone to be there incessantly, but just when i get the urge to be held. does that sound crazy?

i'm not one to equate being alone with being lonely. i, without a doubt, without question, without change, LOVE my solitude. i love my own company (and don't care to be in the company of most people i know for extended periods of time). i am truly my own best friend, and i crave and require alone time as much as possible. but sometimes, just sometimes, it would be nice to have someone i'm deeply connected with to come keep me company.

i can't wait until i get a kitten :-) i just hope i don't turn into one of those old spinster women with a bunch of cats and a rocking chair...