about this here blog

it has been brought to my attention that my posts are making others feel judged, called out, angry, or otherwise wronged in some way.

while i accept that reality, i admit to feeling deeply hurt and saddened by that.

my blog is not a platform on which i stand to attack people. this is not a weapon. this is my diary. and as with any diary, there are smiley days, there are darker days. i get frustrated and angry just like everyone else. and this is where i spill most of it.

although some conversations i have on here do spark other posts or discussions, i want to be clear that there is never a time when i'm specifically addressing, attacking, calling out or putting on blast, anyone on here. my vented frustrations, concerns and emotions about life, the Church as a whole, everything, are all a conglomeration of my experiences and encounters with people, both on blogger and in my personal, daily life - 98.8% of which is of the latter.

so i feel hurt that anyone would feel as if i'm here to attack them, judge them, or string them up in any way. but i humbly apologize for making anyone feel that way. it was never my intention, desire, or goal. i know that i have a lot to learn, a lot of ways to grow, a lot of changing to do in so many areas of my life. but i'm not some monster whose purpose is to make anyone's life miserable or to hurt anyone. i know that my emotions get the best of me at times and things don't always get communicated the way they should. i don't always handle situations in the best of ways. i'm still learning to be still, to be silent, and to listen more than i talk. i'm certainly not always successful, and i do realize that i don't need to vocalize every single frustration that i have.

my goal for this post is not to focus on my own hurt, but to help calm the hurt any and everyone else may feel about anything i've written, to express sincere apologies for that hurt, and to possibly bring clarification where there is confusion. but i just want to make it clear to anyone who cares to read this, that no matter how badly i mess up, no matter how full of emotion i get, no matter what experiences i have on blogger or otherwise, i do not, have never, nor will i ever use this blog as ammo against anyone else (except perhaps satan). no i don't always agree with everyone, but my response to disagreement is never to make it a point to talk about someone or attack anyone in my posts. and all i can do is apologize as best as i know how to anyone whom i have made to feel that way. i don't know how else to explain that.

i think need a break from this. maybe all this is the Lord's way of telling me that i need to spend more time praying about my concerns and frustrations rather than blogging about them.

may the Lord bless you all.