it could have been me

yesterday, feeling in a funk (about family issues, my job misery, and feeling guilty that i even felt in such a funk), God opened my eyes to so many things, showing me that although things seem bleak at times, His hand has always been over my life.

strolling around on my lunch break enjoying the sun, i saw a group of young girls eating a picnic lunch on a grassy area near the Whitehouse. and they were feeding a squirrel. this squirrel was sitting right next to them, devouring the scraps they were giving him. my heart swelled. it was weird to see because squirrels are usually so skittish and won't let you come that near to them. but i guess the constant supply of food from his benefactors made his fear go away.

even the smallest of creatures, God provides for, nurtures and takes care of.


then as i walked back to work, a homeless woman sitting on the ground outside of a Mickey D's asked me for change. so i asked her if she wanted lunch instead and she said yes. she told me what she wanted and i went and got her meal.

after i left, i felt overwhelmed at the thought that this woman could easily be me. i don't know her story or how she ended up on the streets. but what i do know is that i'm not above tragic occurrences happening to me. maybe she lost her job, maybe she lost her home in a fire, maybe she has no family or friends to help her. any of that could happen to me on any day. it is only because of God's grace and mercy, His protection and provision that i have what i have. i've never known poverty, i've never lost everything i have. it's not because of anything i've ever done - it's because my Father takes care of me faithfully.

then as i left the train last night, my heart broke at hearing a woman scream and curse at her two small children. she was yanking them along, telling them to hurry, cursing at them because they were "getting on [her] nerves." i prayed for her and for those two babies immediately. and i thought to myself how grateful i am that my parents never treated my sister and i that way. my parents have made a lot of mistakes, as we all have, and i barely have a relationship with my father these days. but despite all of my gripes and complaints, my parents have never once cursed at us, degraded us, or abused us in any way. i can't imagine my mother or father ever saying to us the words i heard that woman scream at her two young children. thanks be to God.

God always lets me know that He has been with me from day one. even when i wasn't with Him.

feeling so thankful today.