i'm back

so much has happened since i last wrote in june...what's going on? glad you asked :-)

* well...update on the coward mentioned in previous post. he called me late one night in june or july to explain his behavior. he claims that the reason he had been so vague and distant, hot one minute, cold the next, with me is because he's still in love with his ex. and apparently they've been talking and "battling things out" as he put it. but bottom line, he's not over her and therefore couldn't move on with me. needless to say, i let him have it. how many times had i told him to BE HONEST with me about whatever was going on. and over and over, he swore there was nothing going on, that he just wasn't sure what he wanted, he was scared of being hurt. i gave him many 'outs' to let me know exactly what was on his mind and why he was so into me, and the next minute i don't hear from him for a week. well, i got my answer that night. it's all good though, i'm not, nor have i been, dwelling on it. that was a few months ago, i haven't talked to or seen him since then, and i'm just fine. i'm not going to keep reliving it either...he's in my past, that whole ugly encounter is in my past. my life is joyful, and i intend to keep it that way :-)

* i'm still at this job i hate, but making plans to move on. i have so many things i want to do in the near future, and i'm learning what i need to do to make them happen. i'm praying hard about it all, because i have some major decisions to make soon and without God's guidance, i have no CLUE where to begin or even IF to begin at all.

*i'm moving!! i'm finally getting my own place. i decided a few months ago that i no longer wanted to share an apartment with my sis, and that i wanted my own place. so we didn't renew our lease, my sister bought a house, and i'm getting my own apartment. i found a really nice, cute little place very near my old apartment. i'm just waiting to hear if i got it. my application is in, so all i can do is wait and pray! i'm claiming it, having faith that God will work it out! i'm so so excited about it though. the thought of coming home to my own place, and being able to decorate it the way i want, and have everything in it just be MINE..??? aaah. sounds delightful :-)

* i turned 25 in august....i must tell you, it was scary. it's STILL a weird feeling when someone asks my age and i say "i'm 25..." it's such a huge age to be. and i'm having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. there is so much i wanted to have done by the time i turned 25 - get married, have at least one child, have travelled to a few foreign countries. i have done none of the above. and in a few short years (that will pass quickly, i know) i will be 30. it's unnerving. and even though i have so much to be thankful to God for, i can't help but feel a bit disappointed in my life. when i compare my life to those of others my age, i feel like i have nothing to show for my 25 years. so many of my friends are married, have kids or kids on the way, have bought houses, have great jobs, have lived or studied abroad, have done so many exciting and life-enriching things that i have wanted to do, but haven't. and that makes me a little sad.

* the infamous ex called me a week after my birthday. he called just to say hello and to give me his new cell number (which i didn't even bother to save because i have no intention of calling him). he didn't even remember that my birthday had passed. i casually told him that he owed me some belated bday wishes and he got all apologetic that he had forgotten. whatever. and how he's talking about moving up here to the DC area. LORD HELP ME if he moves here. i'd prefer that there always be at least 3-4 very large states between us. if he moves here, that's just way to close for comfort. and DC has a lot of people, but it is still a small city. i run into people all the time, and i'm pretty sure that if he lives here, i'll be bound to run into him at some point. that is not a good thing...

* i still have no love to call my own, but i'm thinking of buying a kitten. i really want a dog, but my new apartment that i pray i get doesn't allow dogs. so my kitten can be my new love :-)