still pondering

i'm trying hard not to think about the events of my thanksgiving week off, but i can't help it. the more i think about it, the more it pisses me off. i haven't heard a peep from blind date guy from new york since his last stupid text friday night. he's online but hasn't IMed me (i deleted him from my yahoo buddy list, but haven't deleted him from my AIM just yet), he hasn't called or texted, though i did delete him from my cell. hasn't emailed me, but i did delete him from my email address book. i think i did those things out of spite and also just to get rid of reminders of him. i know it's not that serious, cuz we've only been out twice and have only known each other for 3 weeks, but still...i hate it when guys don't know what the hell they want. one minute they're hot, the next they're cold. one minute they're calling you at 8:30am just to say hello and wish you a good day, the next minute they act like they don't want to ever talk to you again. make up your mind, please. if you're not feeling me, that's cool, i'm not gonna cry about it. but don't play games and be all in my face one minute and then go waaaaay to the other end of the spectrum the next. i'm a grown up. i don't have time for games.

on another note, yesterday was the ex's birthday. i wonder if he was hoping or thinking that i was going to call him or text him or something. well i sure as hell didn't, partly because he didn't do that for me. well, on my birthday he sent me this generic ass 'happy birthday' text message, no exclamation point, no 'i hope you enjoy your day,' no nothing. so i figured why wish him one, especially since i don't really mean it anyway. i hope his birthday sucked.

i hate that i find myself missing him sometimes. last monday after work, a friend and i met downtown for drinks and then went to this open mic/poetry night at this little club. it was such a great atmosphere and i really enjoyed it. but all i kept thinking was that he (my ex) would've have loved that. he always used to appreciate events like that as well. he sucks so much. so does that new york bastard.

can you tell i'm in a crabby mood? LOL.