lessons relearned

people have a wonderful knack of making you feel not good enough, not special enough, not beautiful enough, not....enough, period.

we can't trust in men and women to validate us or make us "worthy."

over and over i have to learn this lesson because over and over i let myself slip into that habit. and God uses those moments to remind me that my identity, worth, and beauty are all found in Christ alone. i may not be good enough, beautiful enough, or special enough for some, but the God of the universe hand-picked me as one of His.

and He will exalt me in due time.

and I will exalt Him forever.

my heart hurts today...so very much. but i had a wonderful, awesome time with my God this morning. so even through the tears that sting my tired eyes as i type this, i can find joy and comfort in remembering that the Lover of my soul, well... He remembers me. plain and simple.

and right now, that's more than enough.


sometimes it's hard to remember that and find joy in that, especially when people hurt you so badly. but the moment i really reflect on what it means to be chosen by God, that hurt goes away just a little bit more.

He took me just as i am, in spite of myself. and He takes me back every day, in spite of all that i do, and all that i fail to do.

what more could i really ask for?

my prayer is that i never, ever make anyone else feel not good enough, not special enough, or not beautiful enough. and i pray that all the times i have done that in the past (because i know i had to have done that, at least at some points throughout my life), that i find forgiveness in God and forgiveness in all those hearts i may have hurt.

i never want to be the reason someone feels unspecial, unpretty, or unloved.

Lord, make me ever sensitive to the hearts of others. may my words and deeds only ever lift others up, never tear them down. and please forgive me for all the times my words or actions have hurt the hearts of those around me. repair all that i may have broken in others.

and with God's help, i will do everything in my power to make sure my little girl knows just how beautiful, special and valued she is every single day of her wonderful life.

(yup, i said it... :-D)