Hillsong and the hectic life

what's new ladies and gents?

i sincerely hope everyone is well! life has been interesting and rather busy lately.

last night, i had the time of my life at the Hillsong concert!!!! it was an awesome time in Christ, with thousands of people of ALL colors united, with one voice, praising God and being ministered to by one of the greatest Christian bands my ears have had the pleasure of hearing. to see so many men, women, young and old, Asian, Latino, Black and White, all lifting their hands and praising the One true and living God and our Lord Jesus Christ was incredibly moving and phenomenal.

Hillsong ministered to us in such a wonderful way, with song and instruments, and even taking breaks to pray over all of us and share Scripture passages and a mini-sermon. it was like being in one huge (and kinda long) church service. it was the best night i've had in a long time.

and ya just gotta love those Australian accents! :-)

i was utterly exhausted though when we left. it was pretty humid in there (the concert was in a semi-outdoor pavilion) what with all those thousands of bodies jumping around, plus the humidity of the evening air surrounding us. in addition, we had floor tickets right in front of the stage! the pavilion had basically three sections: the huge floor area in front of the stage, the multitude seats behind that section, and then the lawn behind the seats. so while it was an awesome view being in the floor section THAT close to the stage (and BOY was it loud!!!!!!!!!), being in the floor area meant that we were standing for 2.5 hours.

and honeys, let me tell you that being just about 22 weeks pregnant and on my feet for 2.5 hours straight left me way more than tired by the end of the night. my feet were a little sore but for the most part, it was my lower back that started to ache like a champ after about 1.5 hours. so i'm feeling the aftermath today, in my chair trying to do desk Pilates and loosen some things up.

but it was totally worth the exhaustion and minor discomfort to be able to see Hillsong live. it was such an incredible experience. i hope my little baby's ears are ok. the bass was booming so loud there were times i wasn't sure if the thumping in my chest was from the music or was my own heart beat. it was so loud, the baby's first words are likely to be some portion of a Hillsong number.

in any case, here are a couple of pictures i took. i desperately wanted to get good shots and had a great vantage point. but all the jarring around made a lot of the pics come out blurry in my less-than-stellar, incredibly old digital camera. i took some ok pics with my camera phone, but i don't have a usb cord yet for my phone, so those flicks are being held hostage in my phone for now. plus, i'm not exactly tall so i had to hold the camera up high in the air to clear the tops of all the tall people's heads in front of me. also most of the time it was rather dark in the pavilion, except for the moments when the lighting effects were awesome and they lit up the whole place. but they instructed us on the way in that flash photography was not allowed, so i felt compelled to be obedient (although many many people were just flashing away) and turn my camera's flash off. so it was hard to get a good shot in the dark without a flash.

out of the 2000 pictures i took, these are my fave ones (sorry, they're not the clearest). the first is of JD (watch the video linked to his name - it's so funny) onstage; the second is mostly a wonderful shot of praise hands in the air. i loved it.



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anyway, shifting gears, times are busy. this is quite a busy week what with the Hillsong concert last night, belly dance class tonight, and my very first child birth class tomorrow night! i'm super excited about childbirth class but i'll talk more about that on the baby blog.

i feel like lately, even on the weekends, there's a lot to do and i'm always moving nonstop and that i practically live in my car because i'm always driving somewhere else. but i'm not really complaining (except about the cost of gas that is steadily rising and i'm consuming quite a bit of it lately). i'm actually enjoying being busier. it helps to keep my mind from focusing on the painful stuff that my mind keeps trying to focus on. but believe me, i'm remembering to rest, both for me and for the baby :-)

my heart still has quite a few burdens weighing on it. my situation is hard and i still have so many anxieties and unanswered questions about the future. but you know what i'm learning to do more and more? to arrest those anxieties, crucify them and give them to God. it's not easy but i'm putting it in practicing more and more every day.

the way i see it is this: i am at the mercy of God. He knows what i stand in need of. I pour my heart, my worries, and my desires out to Him daily. and He knows what i need before i even open my mouth.

i worry about raising the baby and if i'll be a good mommy, protector, nurturer, spiritual guide and example; i worry about the future of my relationships; i worry about my finances and all the expenses that i'll have to find some way to cover. i worry about so much stuff....

but worrying isn't going to change any of those things. i may very well end up alone - will my worrying change that? no.

i may very well struggle financially and have to find a way to make it through. will my worrying change that? no. i definitely will NOT be a perfect mother even if i try my best. will my worrying change that? no.

but what can change is my attitude. if i pray and give all these fears and anxieties to God, then why hold onto them after i've already asked Him to remove them? fears and worries can't be both in God's hands and in my heart at the same time - i have to choose their residence. and i choose to let them reside in God's righteous Right Hand.

i choose to cry, fuss, get angry and frustrated for just a few moments because i firmly believe in allowing ourselves to feel the ugly emotions that we feel. but i'm giving them a time limit. after i cry it out, yell it out, fuss it out, i choose to relinquish it to God.

the Bible says that God neither sleeps nor slumbers. so what sense does it make for me to lose sleep worrying over my circumstances? there's no sense in BOTH of us being up all night. i'd rather let God stay up all night and handle His business, and lay me down to rest :-)

it's not easy because i'm a natural worrier. i like to know what's going to happen. i like to have a plan in place. my mind constantly wants to fret over my life, what i have and don't have, what i will be or won't be, what i am and am not. but i'm trying with everything in me to recognize those thoughts as soon as they crop up, cry if i need to, and then let God take me over. i can't carry these burdens on my own. so i choose to let the Almighty God of the Universe carry them for me. and part of His mercy is not letting me see everything right now because i probably couldn't handle seeing it all laid out before me anyhow.

whatever happens, happens. God has control whether it seems like it or not. and I am not forgotten. He remembers me, He hears me, He cares for me and He's working even when i can't see, hear or feel Him. so i give Him all of my worries. I give Him all of my praise. I give Him all of me.

My Jesus, my Lord, in the words of Hillsong, "take, take, take it all..."