Dfly in Hi Def

merry belated new year to you all!! how goes it thus far? fantastically, i sincerely hope.

i'm not one to make resolutions for the new year. basically because, well, as i've stated numerous times, i am the most undisciplined, non-committal, attention-deficit woman i know. so who would i really be kidding if i made a list of some resolutions i know i'm not going to stick to for the whole year?

get outta here with all that.

what i DO enjoy doing is reflecting on the year gone by for my own entertainment and inner scrap book. and also so that as the year progresses, i can assess how the new year is different (better or worse) or how i or my thoughts are different (better or worse) than in the previous year.

so here is my reflection upon and sentiments as a result of some things that occurred in our dearly departed oh-eight:

1) God is still good and still God no matter what
2) i'm certainly am not all that i want to be nor did i accomplish all that i'd hoped in oh-seven,
but i'm so grateful that i'm not where i used to be.
3) when i am broke, i suddenly become a master chef with the random ingredients shoved in the back of my kitchen cabinets that i haven't seen, touched or wanted to eat in months
4) when i am down and out and in need of comfort, it is inevitable that my phone will ring and it will be the one person who really need not be the one to comfort me...but the temptation will darn near kill me
5) God always provides an escape route from temptation - but i typically choose the pothole-laden detour
6) when i am led into a season of fasting, allasudden people wanna start trying to treat me to free lunches and dinners.
7) when i am broke, the remaining few bucks in my bank account really can go a long way if i'm smart about it 'til pay day
8) as you can see, brokeness was a common theme for me this past year
9) as soon as i zip up my knee-high boots and walk out the door, my foot will start itching and i'll have to unzip the whole boot and take it off to scratch it.
10) the ONE day i wake up on time and actually think i'll get to work early, there's a 37 car accident on the parkway
11) i honestly don't know who my real friends are anymore
12) the more i try to coach myself into not having expectations of human behavior, the more i find myself having expectations, thus the more i get disappointed.
13) the only One in the world i can really trust and depend on always is God. i can't even depend on myself, let alone anyone outside of myself.
14) the moment i decided to stop stressing about other people's bad choices for their own lives, i experienced a new sense of freedom and breathed oxygen i had never breathed before. no matter how much i care about someone, i can't live their lives for them, even if what they do ultimately destroys them. it's not up to me to fix people.
15) i am very influential in the lives of those around me, both positively and negatively
16) i certainly don't have everything i want, but i definitely have everything i need
17) i am completely comfortable sitting and eating alone in a restaurant
18) a hearty meal of authentic Indian food can cure any amount of blues on any given day
19) working out really hard is also a great way to relieve stress
20) i am eerily moody at times and even get tired of myself. i can go from 0 to 390 then back to 0 in .007 seconds.
21) i don't have to feel guilty that after i sincerely and excitedly squeeled and shouted congratulations to a friend who just got engaged, i hung up the phone and wept.
22) that even though i've hit some pretty rock hard places this past year, i really have determined that i will bless the Lord at all times.
23) i'm not afraid to tell God that i don't always like how He moves (or doesn't move). and He's not afraid to tell me to hush up and be still
24) i am really really selfish sometimes and need deliverance
25) the recession/semi-recession/almost depression/whatever you call it-ession doesn't bother me because my God has promised to provide all my needs - and He does every day.
26) my favorite days are the ones i spend curled up with my kitties in my pjs on the couch watching black/white 40s and 50s movies on the Turner Classic Movie channel
27) i spend way too much time procrastinating. which is funny because procrastinating means NOT doing something....so why does it take up so much time to NOT do things??
28) i need to read my Bible way more than i do and meditate on the Word way way more than i do
29) i don't get over things nearly as easily as i pretend to do.
30) i have so much forgiving and healing to do from the year's events that it's scary and overwhelming to think about. but i don't want to start the year off with so much baggage
31) i have no problem telling people how messed up i am - but i'm terrified to reveal all the ways in which i'm messed up
32) i push people away. i have trouble letting people in and if i do let them in, i have trouble letting them stay for long. humans are scare-reee and way too much work.
33) spending an evening with my parents (my mother and stepfather) is sometimes way way way more fun than spending an evening with anyone else doing anything else.
34) Jesus really does love me and proves it all the time
35) i really don't deserve ANY of His goodness. not even on my "best" day.
36) i am always always shocked and humbled when people compliment my spirit or see goodness in me. because i know just how messed up i am, it amazes me and brings me to tears that anyone could ever look at me and see good or see God. every ounce of anything good in me is all because of Him residing there.
37) i really really have no desires for ladder-climbing and career building. i feel my God-calling screaming to come out, but i know it ultimately has nothing to do with my "job".
38) i am afraid of just how much potential i could really have in Christ and what He may eventually lead me to do
39) people just up and die randomly, reminding me just how much my days are not promised to me, even given my sort-of youthfulness
40) i sincerely want to move away from this area, and possibly out of the country
41) even in this broken, scarred heart o'mine, there is still so much love, warmth and affection to share, and that amazes and encourages me.
42) i am severely apathetic when it comes to things that i really should care about
43) i LOVE LOVE LOVE a great laugh. and i do it quite often. anywhere. at any time. and i do it loudly.
44) my mother is amazing to me and i really hope to be like her if i'm ever a mommy
45) even if it has been sunny and cloudless all week, the ONE DAY i forget to bring an umbrella, it will rain a torrential downpour.
46) i LOVE going to the movies. i have a blast everytime i go (even though they're expensive and cost a half-month's rent)
47) a great hair day is an automatic mood booster!
48) seeing the words "2 New Messages" on my cell phone makes me excited without even knowing who they're from
49) people really truly honestly annoy the heck out of me
50) i really do love being alive!


bless you guys! enjoy the oh-nine and may the very face of God shine upon you each and every minute of each and every day.