need advice

ok, here's my deal:

dragonflysoul is NOT rich. i'm not even close to rich. i live in an area that is expensive, even in the inexpensive parts; i STILL have student loans from undergrad, i have car expenses, food/pet expenses; i have phone bills, a credit card bill every month, and a few other miscellaneous costs (like water bill and cable). and i live very modestly - basic phone plans, basic cable, basic food, basic basic basic. there is not a lavish or luxurious bone in this body.

so with my fairly modest salary, plus the cost of transportation to and from work (Metro is expensive), after i get paid and dole out all the funds to every company with their hands out, there's not a whole heck of a lot left over. plus i try to add to my savings account every month (not always possibly though), and that money is untouchable except for in extreme emergencies.

that being said, i have no problem acknowledging my financial shortcomings. i'm not rich, but i'm certainly not poor. God provides every need i have, i never go hungry and i am never unable to pay my rent or bills on my own. i do know how to live within my means, even if that means (and it often does) sacrificing doing things or spending for things that i may want, but don't need.

i know several people (this is not a judgment but merely a stated fact) who are always hollering about how broke they are, but they find no problem spending loads of cash on material things or outings (restaurants, bars, clubs, etc.) - all of which can be very very expensive.

my thing is this: if i'm "broke," i'm not spending what little dough i have left over to go out to a restaurant when i could just as easily cook at home. at-home dinners are often not as fun as going out to eat, but it does save you some cash. if i'm broke, i'm not bar and club hopping, spending loads of money on cover charges and drinks (i don't do clubs or bars anyway but i'm just saying). if i'm broke, as badly as i may want to take myself to the mall and splurge on come clothes and accessories, i'm realistic about my situation and i wait until i can safely afford it.

i know a lot of people who don't do this. they spend until it's gone. then they complain that they have no money. or they run up credit cards bills to satisfy whatever desire they have at the time. thousands of dollars in credit card debt for some purses and shoes is not cool nor sexy to me. BUT...for a grown adult, this is one's own prerogative. it just ain't me.

so here's my current dilemma - my beloved sister wants to do it up jazzy for her big 3-0 in a couple of weeks. so she and her friends are all emailing back and forth deciding what type of outing they want to do. these chicks are off the hook and all seem to want to do some club-type outing, which doesn't sit right with me because i can't stand a club. my club days have BEEN over, thanks be to God, but trust me years ago, i would stay in clubs until the lights came on. but God has killed that desire in me, and i ain't mad at Him for doing so.

i honestly can't stand clubs. they're too crowded, i don't even like most of today's popular music - i could live without most of the garbage, vulgar so-called hip-hop that is out these days. and i can't stand being hit on by sweaty club guys who like to grab your arm to get your attention as you walk by. dancing can be fun indeed but not when some horny, sweat-drenched ogre is trying to gyrate all on my precious booty. it's just not my scene.

now, there was a possibility that i would give in (against my better judgment and desires) and participate just because it's my sister. BUT that possibility is becoming a downright "NO!" right about now because these people are now talking about club-hopping. not just going to chill at one spot, but hitting several that night. going to one club was going to be painful enough but having to stomach several in one night is going to put me under. and not only are they trying to club-hop, but they are trying to rent a limo/hummer to take us around to different spots.

the cost is off the chain.

not only would i be paying for the vehicle, but dinner isn't even included so i'll be paying for dinner. plus we'd also be covering the birthday girl's expenses all night.

who do i look like??? P. Diddy's wife????!!!!! i ain't got it. plain and simple. i'm not mad, but i'm not doing it. i refuse to empty what little funds i have, even if it is for my sister. i didn't even do all that for my OWN birthday last month. why i'mma do it now. per-leeze.

i'm all for people doing what they want to do. i may not agree, i may not get down, but i respect an adult's right to live how one pleases. but if you want ME to participate, then something's gotta give.

so now i'm put in the uncomfortable position of looking like the anti-social dissident causing problems in their plans. i do not want my lack of wealth nor my values that keep me from clubs to make the whole group feel as if they can't do what they want to do. i will have no hard feelings, but i just won't go. i just don't know how to address it because i know there will be some whispers and attitude-having from at least a couple of my sister's friends, and i'm really not in the mood to deal.

but i can't say it enough, i'm not compromising my values nor my financial peace of mind for a night out to celebrate anyone's birthdays. my personal opinion is that there are lots of ways to celebrate a birthday without clubs and bars.

but maybe that's just me.

all i know is, i've compromised who i am on more occasions than there are stars in the sky. i've sat aside who i am and how i live to please other people too many times to remember. i'm not about to revert now, not even for one night, not even for my sister.

and like i said, i was possibly willing to go to one of those stupid places with them initially, but i refuse to spend hundreds of dollars for this.

but my fear is that no matter how sensitively i handle this concern, i'm still going to look like the b#&*$ who's messing up the plans.

and i don't know what to do...help!!