not easy

it's so hard to live in this world that is so against God and doesn't understand His heart and His ways. the Bible says that satan is the prince of this world, and boy is that ever true. and it's so hard to live for God when so many things and people of this world oppose Him.

I love Him. so i try to govern everything i do, every decision i make, every word i say, based on His word and what He has required of me. that's not easy to do when much of this world is governed by their own desires, their own agendas, and satan's agendas. and they don't understand why i do what i do.

case in point: yesterday, i was floating along, minding my biz, first day back at work from a week's vacation (my birthday was last monday!), and this consultant here comes barking up to my desk demanding to know why i had completed a certain task this way, and accusing me of doing it wrong. she was yelling, being nasty and she even cursed (not necessarily AT me, but to me in her nasty attitude). needless to say, i was very agitated and my flesh wanted to bark right back at her, considering not only how she was speaking to me so rudely but also the fact that she was WRONG. TOTALLY WRONG. i hadn't done the work wrong, she was pulling the information she needed from the wrong source in the database. what i had done was completely right but she was looking in the wrong place, so it appeared as though my work was incorrect.

when i calmly explained to her where to get the proper information that i had done, and pointed out her error, she calmed down, but never apologized. i was very hurt by that. i don't even know why because that's her general disposition - rude, rough and nasty. i feel sorry for her and anyone else who is that bitter and mean. but at the same time, it never gets easier when you treat people with respect and you get none in return.

what makes it worse is that people don't understand why i don't always stand up for myself and get back in people's faces when they get in my face like that. i think people have this perception of me that i'm weak and let people walk all over me. but i'm not. the thing is, i have a strong relationship with the Lord, and it keeps me humble and quiet. so when people lash out at me disrespectfully, the Holy Spirit keeps me from cursing them out, even if my insides are screaming. and in instances like this i am ALWAYS reminded of the Scripture passage that reads "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:44-45) and, "...I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matt. 5:39)

Also, in the Bible, God clearly states that vengeance belongs to HIM. so i don't have to curse people out or give them a piece of my mind. i don't need to treat people as rudely as they treat me, i don't need to yell and scream and let them know that their attitudes are unacceptable. Jesus Christ is the BEST advocate i could ever ask for, and He knows what to say, when to say it and how to say it, better than i ever could. so when people rise up against me, i need not be afraid, intimidated, or stoop to their level and be evil back to them. i trust in God's word. and i know that He has a remarkable way of humbling people who do evil and wrong.

after that ugly incident, i just praised and thanked God and prayed for her and that situation. I know that the Lord will deal with her in His own way and His own time. I have learned that the best way to deal with something most times is to step back, be quiet, and ask the Lord to deal with it. it is out of my hands.

so please don't think i'm weak or afraid. I'm not by any means. what i am is confident in my Father who takes care of me. i'm confident that "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of Me," saith the LORD." (Isaiah 54:17)

my soul boasts in the Lord, yesterday, today and always.