imagine me letting go

i feel a bit more encouraged today. i still have tons of feelings of uneasiness and some disappointment flooding my heart. but this weekend, especially sunday in church, i felt encouraged and a little more at peace. my pastor said something that really hit me and gave me a wonderful sense of calm. and that is that even when things don't seem to be going your way, and your life isn't all that you'd want it to be right now, God is still in control. i know that was the Lord speaking to me and letting me know that it's going to be ok. and i hold on to His promises that He will neither leave nor forsake me, but will be with me even until the end the earth.

during the service, i just cried out everything i was feeling, everything bubbling up inside me, and just praised God for being my best friend. He has answered my prayers before, so i have no doubt that He will answer them now. I just have to wait on Him to work in His own perfect time, and not my time. i'm praying for the strength to just trust in His plan for me, whatever that may be. and even when things are scary and uncertain, i know that Jesus is in control. He knows where i'm going before i even get there. so i'm praying hard to let go of frustration, for the serenity to accept the things i cannot change. i still don't know why i'm here or where i'm going, but i will choose to just breathe peace. i will choose to live each day being grateful for what God has blessed me with and for how far He has brought me and changed me. i will choose love, patience, peace and acceptance, even if those things are not given to me by others. whenever i feel overwhelmed, i will immediately pray for peace and God's presence instead of dwelling on the negative that i feel. i choose life.

i cannot change the way things are right now, so i must find ways to make them positive and look for whatever lesson God is trying to teach me. i cannot change other people's actions, but i CAN change my REaction to it. i cannot control how others treat me, but i CAN change my attitude towards it. it's ok to be angry sometimes, or sad sometimes, or afraid sometimes, or frustrated sometimes. but it is not okay to let it consume me. God's peace and joy are readily and abundantly available to me. i won't feel them if i let the negative things take over my thoughts and my heart. joy is when you can be going through something terrible but can still smile, can still sing, can still feel at peace. joy is not based on external circumstances. happiness is based on happenings, things, people. when bad things "happen," happiness goes away. when good things come your way, you feel happiness. what i want is JOY. joy cannot be taken away. joy can fill your heart even in the midst of things falling apart around you. joy comes from God and God alone. i want joy. i HAVE joy because i have a relationship with the God of the universe. and i cannot let anyone or anything cloud my thinking to the point that i block out my joy.

here's a wonderfully moving and uplifting SONG. (<<--- click there) be blessed and enjoy! really LISTEN to the lyrics...i never make it through this song without crying :-) through the Lord, i can truly imagine me in a place of no insecurities. i never have to be afraid because Jesus walks with me everywhere i go.

God bless.