regret

i woke up around 5am a few mornings ago and glanced over at my cell and discovered that he had called at about 2:45ish a.m. i never even heard the phone ring, which i guess was a bit of a blessing. surprisingly, he had left a voicemail saying hello and that he was glad i had been receptive of his text messages recently and that i'd be "more than welcome" to give him a call because it would be good to hear my voice. i was so taken aback, simply by the fact that he had called, and had called at almost 3 in the morning. lately he's been communicating on a semi-frequent basis, mostly via text, and a few times, he has opted to text in the wee hours of the morning. a part of me is ecstatic that he even thinks of me that late (or early really) at night/in the morning. so regretfully, the next afternoon, i called him back. shouldn't have done that. he didn't answer when i called and i didn't leave a message. i told myself that if he called back, i wasn't going to answer.

he called back and of course i answered...

only to discover that he is moving to NC, moving in with a "friend" from highschool (undoubtedly a female). i thought my heart was going to explode. i'm so confused at how one minute he's sending me text messages saying he misses me, calls me at 3am. and the next he's moving away and never even bothered to share that info with me until that very moment. i wish i had never even returned his call. i've made it up in my mind to pray as hard as i can day and night for all traces of him to be purged from every fiber of my heart and mind. i hope it works...